a. Acceptance of the situation (which is very rare) - acceptance of the stressor is best possible situation to start with. Once we accept that we are on a wrong train, we can decide whether to push button, pull chain or get down at the next station.
b. Denial -self denial is the most difficult enemy, you will have to fight with. People who are stressed usually deny that they may be taking too much on themselves.
c. Procrastination -postponing any action plans, lest you will have to deal with the outcomes of your actions. It is suicidal to make the destination of the wrong train as your new destination.
d. Give up- People who might delay and deny the presence of a huge stressor in their life usually tend to give up and end up with unwanted outcomes. Giving up is neither good for mind nor spirit. That is why one should accept the stressor early and act on it.
e. Act on stress- Taking some proactive action in response to the stressor is best thing to do. This is a fighter kind of a person who is not scared of life and its challenges.
f. Let Go- It is very important to let go of the stress after you have fought it successfully. It should not become a kind of bad memory or nemesis that stops you from being yourself or your spontaneity.
How to let go is the practical big question?
Everyone says let go, let go, but how to let go. Emotional people, please try to FORGIVE the person who was the reason for your stress all this while.Also it is a must that before you forgive the other person, you must learn to forgive yourself. To forgive doesn’t mean you have to call him/her and say, “we can be friends and I am almost like god, because I can forgive you”. That is very unpractical.
· You have to forgive the person in your own world of thoughts. That’s it. Also forgiving here is for your peace of mind and it does not mean you will not take up a cause that you think is necessary for justice like a legal action or something. Next question comes how to forgive. If you feel that bad incidents always make your beautiful eyelashes moist, try this. We don’t have to put a brave face always. Those of you who feel like crying, when you are on your own, alone, you can cry to your heart’s content. Once after you have conquered over the stressor, when you cry over it completely, it will never, ever be that disturbing to you again.
· Then at that let-go moment forgive the person and say thank god I am out of this. Forgiving is really, really possible. Trust me but forgetting is not. (Though I am a confident psychologist and there are many theories to forget, I have not yet come to know my own trusted, practical way to FORGET bad experiences. I want to be known for practical psychology. So when I get that maturity to suggest a practical way of forgetting, that is not bookish, I will share that too). But believe me, practically forgiving does as good a job for the mind as forgetting would have.
How to move on?
If we are able to let-go then, we can actually move-on. Otherwise we get stuck in the sticky pan. Anyone who cooks a bit knows what I mean. So the solution comes from kitchen here. Grease your pan for making it somewhat stick-proof. Oh Please! Do not get me wrong. It is not that corrupt grease I meant. Grease here intends to convey that to move-on we must coat ourselves with lots of good thoughts, surround ourselves with people who are our true friends and well wishers, look out for change within and outside.It is must to go walking daily at least for 10 minutes, pursue a short holiday, develop long forgotten hobbies, read a light book, see a comedy movie with loved ones, eat what you like best and never over do the eating bit . Life is what we make out of it.So make most of it positive.
To sum up the easy steps to deal with stress should be,
The ultimate result of conquering stress should be firstly, to liberate oneself from the stressful situation. Finally, to be able to forgive and most importantly to be able to confidently Move-on with the wonderful opportunity called ‘one life’.Live.Live.Live happily.