Sunday, February 5, 2017

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Making sense of Humour

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Making sense of Humour: How many times poeple just crack a bad joke and say just kidding? It happens to all of us and it happened to me too. The art of it lies in f...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Love of Exams!

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Love of Exams!: God! Who must be that weird to love exams. Well, most people do not take to exams naturally. Whenever there are examinations of any sort, so...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: for posting comments/messages/advices

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: for posting comments/messages/advices: Happy all, I started this blog with the inspiration of my husband.My brother who is a software enggineer created and commenced it.The opini...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Cricket and unwanted choices

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Cricket and unwanted choices: What a match it was between India and Pakistan. Great and crazy till the last over. It was a good Wednesday for us and let us hope that the...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Handling Teenagers!

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Handling Teenagers!: Dear readers, happy that you wanted to know about handling teenagers gone driving in the wrong lane of life? Amongst the questions there was...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: STRESS NILL 1

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: STRESS NILL 1: Are only grown ups stressed?  As adults we get to experience the word stress from many causes(stimuli).The causes are mostly externally indu...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Stress Nill part 2

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Stress Nill part 2:  An impending stress may give rise to mainly five kinds of responses, a. Acceptance of the situation (which is very rare) - acceptance of ...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Stress Nill part 2

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Stress Nill part 2:  An impending stress may give rise to mainly five kinds of responses, a. Acceptance of the situation (which is very rare) - acceptance of ...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Stress Boss

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Stress Boss: Bosses come in, with all kinds of emotions and crazy ties.God is most often remembered by those who wish they had a different boss! Stress f...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Moody buddy!

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Moody buddy!: Moody and Irritable friends and loved ones can be a big cause of concern.   One of my acquaintances had asked me about coping with mood swin...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Raising Great Kids

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Raising Great Kids: My Plans for Raising Great Kids Kids should be helped to be Humanitarians, strong individuals, not feeling fear for change, learning s...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Love thy neighbour!

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Love thy neighbour!: Time to know who your neighbour is and love thy neighbour again.I may be old fashioned. These are strictly my views. Glad to share them wi...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Caring Parents, Exams Will PASS too.

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Caring Parents, Exams Will PASS too.: Examinations time for kids. Relax. 1.Love them for who they are, not their results' outcome.Atleast tell them so. 2.Encourage, enric...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Psychological Budget Psychology

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Psychological Budget Psychology: Psychological Budget includes handling past achievements, emotions, influences and abilities. The way we handle our unlimited abilities a...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: One More Day, Year, Life

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: One More Day, Year, Life: Kids started to go to school.Thought...  1.Another year of proving to nobody but to themselves.  2.Counting no of working days n hol...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Doing one's Duty

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Doing one's Duty: "Andhakar was a boy in his XII standard.Likes to sleep in class, interested in spending hours of time seeing other boys play in the fi...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Emotions are like Waves !Be an Ocean of compassion...

Dr SB Gita-Your Psychologist: Emotions are like Waves !Be an Ocean of compassion...: Emotions are like waves. Sometimes one feels totally on top of the world and sometimes absolutely rock bottom. And no sooner than you thin...

Emotions are like Waves !Be an Ocean of compassion.

Emotions are like waves. Sometimes one feels totally on top of the world and sometimes absolutely rock bottom. And no sooner than you think, from the very rock bottom a hope arises from no where and in all probability from within and one starts floating to surface.

The other day i was Counseling someone. During the session the realization was soon there that this person i was counseling  whom i chose to call Miss.Hope was hardly with any  hope. My eyes were focused on her making a safe eye contact for her to continue but I must confess was praying with all my might to all my gurus, to the universe, to my highest qualification for somehow making me enabled to stop this person from being suicidal.

Disappoint, heart hurt, broken dreams, goal less, no confidant,no friends to trust,indifferent family attitude, no siblings to share the hard feelings were too many issues to handle in just 45 minutes. I want to help and i will help is the loud voice in my head but i knew the time is a constraint.Though I wanted to give all my time,  Ms.hope had to leave because her parents would be worried if she did not reach home on time.I said your family is concerned about you so you should slowly share your concerns with them, "there must be someone...". So she said it will take a long time and i do not have the patience or energy to do so. 
 She would not share her contact number or her parents' number lest they might come to know somehow.  This is the usual experience with most young teenagers. So i applied some theoretical and some self arrived practical solutions which totally work like instant food when terribly hungry. I want to share  them here not to celebrate shortcuts. But i feel anything that can save lives, give hope, help continue another day, week, year is all worth it.
 1. A person contemplating suicide will not be listening to long term solution.So saying things like next year, next friend, next job, next examination, take up a hobby, fall flat at the high walls of  deaf ears. 
2.Youngsters respond to inspirational music.Listening to real people is so difficult for most of them.So have some inspirational videos and music handy. Play them and show them.
3. Talking comes easier.Especially if it is someone they know is neutral or professional in helping. Show genuine interest in their life and what they want to share. A person will want to continue telling all about himself/herself  and needs validation from this one person that they are thinking right by deciding to take the extreme consequence.
4. Persistently do not start telling right from the beginning of the session that it is not the right thing to do because they stop communicating mentally.Instead keep telling them, "now you have come to the safe place, trustworthy person,right decision to do so".
5.In the conversation keep listening to appreciate even the minutest of details being handled well, done rightly.Sometimes just appreciating the way the person is able to put his/her whole life in words, story,  does  miracles to a  less hopeful soul.
6.Whenever the mind is disturbed, read the spiritual books of any faith you have interest in.It can be miraculously uplifting.I read the Bhagavad Gita and find it very inspirational at all times.

Young Friends, please do not be so busy in your social networking world, that  you forget to notice your friend/roomate/classmate feeling miserable. Of what use is your smartness if you could not instill hope and life into your near and dear. Be an Ocean of compassion!

Doing one's Duty

"Andhakar was a boy in his XII standard.Likes to sleep in class, interested in spending hours of time seeing other boys play in the field, yet not playing a single sport. His own confession that some other boys got him interested in stuff that cannot be told to anyone except to other people of his age group (who would understand). He gets pocket money for eating fast food and having a good time with his friends.But the intended pocket money is not used for eating any fast food but for intake of slow seeming, fast poison.Now totally in bad health, he is unable to regain health in spite of seeing best doctors because their parents have no idea what he should be treated for specifically.The boy has not yet confessed his parents or the doctors his real problem,hence real help is far from the cure.The boy tells that his parents are extremely loving and trusting.He does not want to upset them by telling the truth.The lack of attention and general apathy towards anything distantly considered achievement comes from total loss of touch with the reality.
Here is what i have to say, 
1.Any kind of love that does not guide is to be reconsidered.Love should help to grow .

2. Trust that gives way to doing mistrustful deeds, is trust misused. 

3.Children in their teenage are confused as to what they should be doing and what is the right decision that they should be taking.Sometimes even when they know they are going the wrong way, they do not know how to come back to normalcy.So much Privacy that allows the teenager to  go so far has to reconsidered.Privacy limits have to be mutually agreeable to both the parents and teenagers.

4.Parents and children, both of them should try to do their duty. Parents duty is to love, guide and provide environment for maximum potential development.The duty of a Child, who may be student,  is to learn and educate as much as possible.Negative episodes also include a great deal of learning, but only negative deeds cannot be performed and learned.Children's energy and interests have to be constantly channelized and monitored.

5.When i read the Bhagavad Gita, everytime there is a new leaning and a new dimension seems to be opening .Doing one's prescribed duty is a supreme learning that should be of great guidance at all times & especially during confusion.

When in doubt as to what is the best thing to do, take a small positive step in your daily routine.Sometimes taking a small step backwards is also considered progress. All the Best.