Friday, April 15, 2011

Handling Teenagers!

Dear readers, happy that you wanted to know about handling teenagers gone driving in the wrong lane of life? Amongst the questions there was a valid question if people find the son/daughter of someone they knew in a wrong act or company, should they confide it to the concerned boy/girl's family? I am trying to put answers to many questions together.
Welcome to the world where we are all here to help each other out. Here's what can be done.
1. If one is in talking terms, then it is better to
directly talk to him/ her and inform him/her that he/ she is not doing the
right things.
2. People on the wrong lane always avoid directions pointing at the correct road.  Usually teenagers will resist any interference and further argue that he/she is not doing anything wrong.
3. If it so, Challenge him/her then, that you are going to tell this to his/her family and wait for reaction.
 4. If he/she submits humbly saying that he/she will try to change his/her ways, given time. Watch for 2-3 days or a week at most, if that is possible(but this is unlikely, as the boy/girl will be now extra careful not to seen by anyone known to her).
5. If there is no change in his/her behavior, even if you have to risk your relationship with the teenager’s family, you should. Anyway after a week it is better to inform the family that you think their son/daughter is somewhat confused as to what is right.
6. Be supportive with the mom while she is coping up with the news you just gave her. The family’s first coping up reaction would be, to vent angry at the source of the ‘breaking news'.It helps to be understanding here that actually the family is angry, not at you, but at their own lack of  first hand news about their child.Be caring. Help the family to understand that there is no shortcoming in her bringing up. Suggest her to talk to her son/daughter about how girls/boys just have fun and do not feel emotional about anything at this age.  
So what can be done?
·        Ask
the boy/girl to make his/her own plan of rectification. Parents can make small
changes in the plan but the overall plan must be as planned by the teenager.
·        Help
the teenager to take up a hobby and pursue it. Pursuing hobbies is a great way
of channelizing abundant energies of teenagers.
·        Get
to know the friends of the teenager. Also let the teenager know this is not
being done in order to spy on him/her
·        Make
him/her to meet successful people in the families or neighborhood. Even a small
inspiration during this time goes a long way.
·        Give his/ her service at a religious place in his/her parents'
·        Get him/her into the habit of reading great inspiring novels.
·        Taking away
     of any usual luxuries, gadgets, facilities that  might have led to his/her condition may help temporarily but on a permanent basis it has be on his/her own realization. Let him/her take up studies from home for some time, like private or distance education, if possible. If that is not possible in many cases as in professional courses where the attendance is compulsory for appearing in exams, then close
supervision is must.
·        Learn
      to spend time by himself/herself without anyone, anything being around (friends,
internet, television) and be relaxed about it for some time, at least for an
houra day. This is very important that teenagers are comfortable with themselves. There is a general restless amongst teenagers partly due to the cyber-cell phone age,
where  things  tend to happen fast. Most teenagers across world do not how to be on
their own with a good book or indulge in a hobby. If the teenager follows the new set directives even for a month and gradually some restrictions can be lifted.
Many questions are raised
here like-
1.Why should other than the
family members bother about a teenager gone driving, in the wrong lane?
2.Is it good to interfere
in other people’s lives?
3.Is the saying “live and
let live” valid in this case?
Firstly, it is not interference but intervention
as it involves LIFE. Many teenagers realize their mistakes after they have
actually born the brunt of it. Then they get so caught up in the emotional net
that they start losing their temper and control even on routine things. They
have little patience for rectification. Finally and most importantly, it is
always better to inform the family before a situation is beyond replay. May be
an alert on time saves nine (lives).Coz when the teenagers realize they have
been on the wrong trek, they have no patience to trek back slowly and safely
and start afresh. The guilt and shame of their outcomes make them unable to
face the world. We all are responsible, as humanity loving people, to protect teenagers from unwanted outcomes.

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